The plural possessive is ladies'. lady is singular, so if you were referring solely to one woman's shoes, it would be the lady's shoes. as for your second question, i'm assuming. So ladies and gentlemen is a way of flattering your audience by implying that they are of a high social class (most likely higher than most of them actually are) It comes from my lords, ladies and gentlemen
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Titled men come first (my lords)
Then their spouses [my] ladies
Dear ladies or my dear ladies if you prefer Traditional writing often used dear sir or madam so dear madams is correct although i think people avoid it. There are certainly women who would not like to be called ladies Currently, in the professional world, women do not.
It is interesting to note that the common use of ladies first actually often contradicts traditional etiquette The phrase is often used to mean after you, but etiquette does not prescribe. But a gentlemen's club is understood to. In my view, the simplest and most elegant solution is to start off simply with
Dear ladies and gentlemen, having made sure to include the names of all the recipients in the postal.
We wouldn’t address a room full of men as “you girls.” one reason is that english lacks a warm, relatable word for women
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